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"No More Whining" by Mandy Jacobson
I have often been at workshops, meetings, and late-night conversations where people talk about the transition from youth to young adulthood. I have heard an endless number of personal stories, but they all seem to have a common thread.
Examples:
"For me the transition was easy. The church near my college helps support a great campus program."
"Of coure I left UUism when I graduated. I went to the young adult group at my church, but it was 7 people over 40 who'd have been having lunch after church for the past 40 years. It wasn't for me, so I left."
The common thread is passivity. I don't mean everyone (but I do mean most people) when I say that young adults in our congregations tend to wait for someone else to start something, tend to whine more than work, and tend to leave our denomination if instant community isn't handed to them on a gilded platter.
I don't mean to downplay the difficulties of being a young adult. We are a huge age range with a wide diversity of needs to meet. Working to build programming and community for us is harder than any other group. However, I believe that we are up to the challenge. But, for the vast majority of us, our attitude has got to change.
We are great at becoming victims. We are great at throwing blame. We are also great at leaving. It is easy to look at our denomination, at the vast gulf in our membership, and say that it is the fault of the "old" adults, the ones who sit on boards and committees and make decisions for our congregations. It is easy to point the finger and say, "You gave us nothing." It is easy to walk away.
We are a small community now, and wrongs have been done to us. But, WE HAVE WRONGED OURSELVES. Every time we went to church once, saw no one who looked like us, and walked away; every time we thought wistfully of meaningful religious community and did nothing about it, we helped to destroy our own community. Worse, we abandoned the next generation of young adults.
It is harder to stay. It is harder to MAKE the change in our denominations, to stand up and state our needs and begin the hard work of meeting them. It is hard to be the only one, the token committee member, or the originator. However, people have stood before you to create this beginning, the magic spark of young adult community, and are tirelessly fanning it to make it burn. I challenge you to stand up and join in, grab whatever tools you may have and march with us. This movement will not be built for you. We are small but we are vital. We need your energy, passion, and commitment to grow. You do not need to wait until a community is built. YOU can make change and shape your opportunities. As individuals and as a movement, we have the power to choose our own future.
Mandy Jacobsen recently moved to Washington DC from Princeton NJ and is preparing to go into the ministry for religious education. The immediate past YRUU Steering Committee Position on Appraisal, Mandy attended several C*UUYAN Steering Committee meetings as the YRUU SC representative and worked closely with C*UUYAN leadership through our recen growth period. She is active with the GA Bridging Ceremony and currently the Small Gropus Coordinator for ConCentric 2000.